Darwin Awards: Intelligent Design by Northcutt Wendy

Author:Northcutt, Wendy [Northcutt, Wendy]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: converted from ePUB by gnv64
ISBN: 9780452288805
Amazon: 0452288800
Publisher: Plume
Published: 2007-10-30T05:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER 5

Alcohol

Alcohol plays a role in many Darwin Awards, but this is the

first chapter devoted exclusively to the boneheaded things we

do while inebriated. Get ready for a spy device, freeway

calisthenics, saliva, bar bets, sunglasses, revenge. a beerfilled condom, window glass, a drinking glass, auto repair, firecrackers, and a submarine. But before you settle in with

that glass of wine, read this science essay on the flu virus,

and what it says about human evolution.

DISCUSSION: ENDOGENOUS RETROVIRUSES AND EVOLUTION

"More than a hypothesis, it's a theory! "

Stephen Darksyde, Science Writer

Every winter as the season turns and Santa comes to visit, a less

welcomed traveler makes the rounds. It's influenza, a truly horrid

little critter. And right now, in the throes of delirium, flush with

fever and cold, I confess; I really despise influenza. I go to sleep

feeling chipper and wake up feeling beaten with baseball bats and

heated by a microwave to a toasty 103 degrees.

This damn flu is caused by a virus, of course, just one of many

viral pathogens that curse mankind. No one knows how these

quasi-living, self-replicating packets of genetic material first came

to be. Perhaps they're a vestigial remnant of a long-gone RNA�

based world that thrived in the nearly boiling sea of a planet

unrecognizable as Earth, billions of years ago. Maybe they're

errant bits of code from a more traditional bacterial microbe that

began freelancing on its own.

However they arose, the viral vector is here to stay.

They all have the same grisly modus operandi. First, the

dastardly buggers break through the cell wall. Some pick the lock

of an existing portal and sneak past the molecular doorman

disgUised as legitimate cargo. Others are constructed like an offshore drilling platform. They land on jointed legs, drop a drill bit onto the exterior of their target, and then begin boring in for all

they're worth.

Once the membrane is breached by whatever means, viruses

inject a packet of trouble into the interior, which makes for the

nucleus and commandeers the genetic machinery to make more

viruses. The end result is a person who sickens, and sometimes

dies.

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